Guile’s World

I just watched my dog chase her tail for five minutes and I thought, “Wow! Dogs are easily entertained!” Then I realized I had been watching my dog chase her tail for five minutes.

Hey you, with the brand new iPhone 5 that has that brilliant camera. Will you now please stop destroying every single photo you take by applying Instagram filters and square crops?

A dramatic interpretation of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back”, as (if it were) performed by Sir Ian McKellen.

Sometimes I drink a glass of water just to surprise my liver.

You know what would be awesome? If Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger had a kid and it rebelled against his/her parents by becoming a really talented musician.

Auto correct can go straight to he’ll.

Neil Armstrong dies and Snooki gives birth. I don’t think that’s what Mufasa had in mind for the circle of life.

Part of me says I can’t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, “Don’t listen to that guy. He’s drunk.“

Facebook should limit the number of times you can change your relationship status. After three times it should say “Unstable”.

I keep hearing people say that killing Fred was the meanest thing J.K. Rowling could have done.

Bullshit.