Guile’s World

I love how the internet has improved people’s grammar far more than any English teacher has. If you write “your” instead of “you’re” in English class all you get is a red mark. Mess it up on the internet, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Run the World (Girls) performed by Beyoncé

Girls, we run this mother (yeah) ×4
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
We run this motha? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Girls, we run this mother? Girls
Girls, we run this mother? Girls
Girls, we run this mother? Girls
Girls, we run this mother? Girls
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
We run this motha? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)
Who run the world? Girls (girls)

Writers (6): Terius Nash, Beyoncé Knowles, Wesley Pentz, David Taylor, Adidja Palmer, Nick van de Wall
Producers (4): Switch, The-Dream, Beyoncé Knowles, Shea Taylor

Bohemian Rhapsody performed by Queen

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me,
To me
Mama,
I just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he’s dead
Mama,
Life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away
Mamaaaa oooh,
Didn’t mean to make you cry,
If I’m not back again this time tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters

Writer (1): Freddie Mercury
Producers (2): Roy Thomas Baker, Queen

CNN is reporting that Anderson Cooper is straight. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, see this link.)

In related news, Fox News Channel’s Sean Hannity has just announced he’s… boring.

It’s “Before”, not “B4”. You speak English, not Bingo.

So the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) issued a decision yesterday which upheld the Affordable Care Act health care plan, a.k.a. “Obamacare”. Y’know, the one where the Republicans were talking about death panels? Anyways, the Twittersphere quickly exploded, with many angry Americans (presumably Republican supporters) tweeting away about how fucked up the U.S. instantly became due to this one decision (as opposed to how fucked up it already is) and threatening to move up here to Canada.

Hey, douchenozzles! Canada has one of the most comprehensive socialized health care policies in the world. Threatening to move to Canada because of Obamacare is like threatening to move to Amsterdam because you hate marijuana users. Good luck with that.

Only in America would so many overweight, diabetic people with heart disease be upset that they’re gonna have health care.

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse all the refuse.

4. We mush polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove in to the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

Lessons from Twilight:

Edward: I will stalk you, manipulate you, physically abuse you, treat you like an incompetent child, and contemplate killing you regularly.

Bella: That's okay. I will just internalize your abuse as my fault. After all, you're a man so you must be right.

Lessons from Buffy:

Angel: Hey Buff, you need me to bust in and save you at the last minute?

Buffy: No, thanks. Let me just slice this misogynistic bastard in half, starting with his balls first. Then we can snuggle.

It’s called Facebook, not Boobbook. So next time try to get your face in the picture too, okay?

Journalism is printing what someone else does not want printed. Everything else is public relations.

– George Orwell

Ladies, take note: Sometimes your knight in shining armour is just a douche bag in tin foil.